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· 171 ratings · 14 reviews

Start your review of Mating Intelligence Unleashed: The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love

I enjoyed this and some of the information is highly interesting. There is also a lot of research yet to be done, of which I am looking forward to.

What did bother me is that in some parts I really wondered about the science. It has taken me some time from when I started my interest in psychology to be fully convinced about IQ and the Big Five Personality, but I accept them. Of some concepts presented in this book I am (still) highly skeptical. These include concepts such as the distinction between pride (authentic vs hubristic) and more of these. It also included emotional intelligence and Robert Sternberg's theory of love. Some of these concepts could perhaps be useful without really existing but I am looking for convincing evidence that they do indeed exist. The book failed to provide those in these cases.

I've learned that we make decisions unconsciously and rationalize afterwards. So I tend to not believe self-reported reasons for why we do things. I am under the impression that it goes largely unconscious. When this book discussed what people think that attracts them in a mate I do not take it that serious. The book actually covered this (that is partly unconscious), but did have plenty of self-reports.

Political science books "Predisposed" and "Our political nature" talk (at last Predisposed did) about assortive mating between political leanings, and the latter also talked of preference for outbreeding vs inbreeding. The first was not covered in the personality chapter. The preference outbreeding vs inbreeding seems to be new enough that it hasn't been tested yet, so I mention this more for those interested.

Lastly, I didn't find anything about sexual imprinting. Additionally, I would have liked to see the info that we are attracted to mates with different immune systems.

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Apr 27, 2013 Carolyn rated it really liked it

Lots of intriguing research on the social psychology of how people interact and why we behave as we do. Also shines a light on how little we may understand of the underlying motivators guiding much of our daily lives — signs and signals that extend beyond dating and mating to permeate most every aspect of interpersonal relationships.

May 20, 2013 Skyqueen rated it it was amazing

It is new territory on who we are as a species and how we really are more like animals than you expect for the simple fact of evolution and propagation of the species according to Darwin. Amazing info that is being tested to be added to high school sex education programs as a means of bettering our society through several avenues including violence, finances, birth rates, and others you don't readily associate with us as sexual beings. Very thought provoking as a race and individually. It is new territory on who we are as a species and how we really are more like animals than you expect for the simple fact of evolution and propagation of the species according to Darwin. Amazing info that is being tested to be added to high school sex education programs as a means of bettering our society through several avenues including violence, finances, birth rates, and others you don't readily associate with us as sexual beings. Very thought provoking as a race and individually. ...more

Apr 15, 2021 Matt rated it it was ok

-We know that self-report assessments are unreliable so we're just gonna base the bulk of our research on them. Also, homosexuality...what's up with that? Back to normal people!-

I was disappointed in this book. My biggest problem with it was the research. They made a lot of conclusions that seemed to lean towards cultural bias than objectivity. Conclusions like promiscuity in women means low mating intelligence or personality is more important than looks just to name a couple. Not all of the con

-We know that self-report assessments are unreliable so we're just gonna base the bulk of our research on them. Also, homosexuality...what's up with that? Back to normal people!-

The faulty research was almost forgivable when the subjects were mostly lite and only discussing short-term and long-term mating success but I really had a hard time getting through the sections that considered actual mental health. Books that encourage people who aren't trained in psychology to make personal diagnoses of others get an immediate red-flag from me; especially if they're discussing issues as serious as psychopathy and narcissism. They do differentiate by calling them "subclinical" but the effort was too minimal for my taste.

With such highly educated and knowledgeable authors, I was really expecting better. The only reason why I'm not giving it one star is because they made a really honest effort at discouraging men from using predatory tactics to attract women.

Also, the jokes are pretty cringe-worthy.

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The central thesis of this book is that is that the human animal has an innate intelligence related to mate selection and courtship, separate to that of cognitive and emotional intelligence. I personally wasn't convinced by the central argument but I enjoyed the book regardless. It is well written and very well researched, with the authors consistently referencing numerous studies to support their claims. The author's influences are apparent. Chapter two is essentially a summary of The Mating Mi The central thesis of this book is that is that the human animal has an innate intelligence related to mate selection and courtship, separate to that of cognitive and emotional intelligence. I personally wasn't convinced by the central argument but I enjoyed the book regardless. It is well written and very well researched, with the authors consistently referencing numerous studies to support their claims. The author's influences are apparent. Chapter two is essentially a summary of The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller.
Although it requires a medium level of scientific literacy, it doesn't lose the reader by delving too deep into the details. It also avoids condescension. However, it does veer off on tangents and spends a large amount of time discussing the Dark Triad personality types. It briefly introduces a fascinating idea about a Theory of Mind Spectrum. I would be interested to know more about this.
Enjoyable overall, but I don't feel that it adds anything new to the genre.
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Sep 20, 2021 Shaun Fisher rated it really liked it

Very insightful book; however, it felt like the authors were holding back a little in a lot of areas which made parts of the book seem vague and lacking of a conclusion or guide for healthy mating behaviour.

Mar 27, 2021 Pink rated it liked it

This book seriously needed an editor before being published. Chapter 8 for example should have 1/3 of it's current extension, is extremely redundant and reiterative (how many papers about narcissism do you need to cite to tell the same 5 characteristics over and over?). Overall, useful information. This book seriously needed an editor before being published. Chapter 8 for example should have 1/3 of it's current extension, is extremely redundant and reiterative (how many papers about narcissism do you need to cite to tell the same 5 characteristics over and over?). Overall, useful information. ...more

Mar 24, 2020 Jake J rated it it was amazing

A fantastic read that delves into the science of sex, or at least sexual attraction. Very well researched, scientifically, well reasoned as it does explore multiple takes and well written - I could understand and enjoy it as a layman.

A scientific presentation of mating intelligence, which is a new concept in evolutionary biology in a similar vein to emotional intelligence, or social intelligence. Uses meta-studies and brings the world up to date on mating intelligence, and how it can change the world. Fascinating explanation of both gender's preferences, and gives a new, fresh perspective on the same old evolutionary biological issues. A scientific presentation of mating intelligence, which is a new concept in evolutionary biology in a similar vein to emotional intelligence, or social intelligence. Uses meta-studies and brings the world up to date on mating intelligence, and how it can change the world. Fascinating explanation of both gender's preferences, and gives a new, fresh perspective on the same old evolutionary biological issues. ...more

Fun Read

I've read better books on evolutionary psychology, but not much on the dating side of things. Plus, it includes a test. Watch out, Cosmo. (I got 16 out of 24. The average is 10.5. Yay me.)

Fun Read

I've read better books on evolutionary psychology, but not much on the dating side of things. Plus, it includes a test. Watch out, Cosmo. (I got 16 out of 24. The average is 10.5. Yay me.)

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Sep 12, 2015 Neftalí rated it liked it

Intelligence is an evolutionary tool, sexual selection has contributed to "enhance" the species survival mechanisms. Evolutionary psychology is an interesting approach to our modern "problems" at mating and etc. Intelligence is an evolutionary tool, sexual selection has contributed to "enhance" the species survival mechanisms. Evolutionary psychology is an interesting approach to our modern "problems" at mating and etc. ...more

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As dedicated readers already know, some of the best and most innovative stories on the shelves come from the constantly evolving realm of...

"A wise man once told me, "As a man, you have to die once in order to live." I never fully appreciated his advice, nor did I understand it until I experienced it firsthand. From that time on, I understood the origins of the Jerk vs. Nice Guy battle. Readers may be asking themselves, "What in the world is this guy talking about?" Well, I'm referring to the widely known fact that women habitually date men that are jerks while the "nice" guys are often left twiddling their thumbs in solitaire. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Figuratively speaking, in order for a man to enjoy the company of women and be able to seduce them, his inner nice guy must first die through heartache. It is at this point that his inner bad boy surfaces and goes on the prowl." — 7 likes

"Recent research suggests that while both men and women say they like a "good sense of humor" in a potential mate, they differ in what they mean by this phrase. Women tend to prefer men who make them laugh, whereas men tend to prefer women who laugh at their jokes." — 2 likes

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